Musings

So, my UCAS application is finally sent off and dusted, and now all that's left to do is wait (well, and take my BMAT).

I've applied to Sheffield, Manchester, Brighton & Sussex and Bristol- a mix of UKCAT, BMAT and neither, and all the ones that I've chosen are integrated. They balance lectures with smaller tutorials and research based learning, which sounds perfect for me.

I suppose that now I've just got to play the waiting game. Going to be honest, it's pretty nerve-wracking to think about it. My future can be changed just like that, and it's scary to be detached from the process as an applicant. However, having such a definitive career in mind does give me a lot of motivation for my studies. It's what keeps me going when I turn off my phone and study, or redo homework questions that I didn't get right. The knowledge that I am capable of achieving these grades encourages me to work harder; it is down to me how well I do.

However, I know that a large proportion of my application is also NOT down to my academic performance. They look at everything I submit, and as such, rejection is going to be hard on me. Medicine is such a competitive course, and with so many capable applicants, it's important to pick those that they think will be right for their course, not just a career as a doctor. As such, it will be hard not to take a rejection due to my personal statement personally - it is such a personal and individual piece that it can feel as though it's a direct criticism of you.

With all that said, I'm going to do my best not to be disheartened by a 'no'. Medicine is my dream and I won't give up easily on the only thing I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm praying for offers, but I know that if I don't get them, it won't be a direct reflection on me. 47 lines can never sum up the intricacies of your personality: how you can make even strangers smile with a joke, or how your bouncy personality fills any room. It doesn't show how you're the first person people come to in a crisis, or that you keep a level head even when everyone around you is having a melt down. In short, it does not define you. Of course, it does to some extent, and at the end of the day, it's what they have to realistically use to assess your suitability. But it does not show how wonderfully unique and infinitely lovely YOU are! So, like me, pray for those offers and interviews. But take comfort from the fact that it does not make you a bad candidate, and it does not mean you won't get accepted from somewhere else, or next year.

I'm aware that saying this is a lot easier than putting it into practice. But at the end of the day, until I get rejections/interviews, saying it is all I can do.

So remember, chin up and fingers crossed!